What's your favorite Woody Allen movie? Before you answer, you should know: when I was seven years old, Woody Allen took me by the hand and led me into a dim, closet-like attic on the second floor of our house. He told me to lay on my stomach and play with my brother's electric train set. Then he sexually assaulted me. He talked to me while he did it, whispering that I was a good girl, that this was our secret, promising that we'd go to Paris and I'd be a star in his movies. I remember staring at that toy train, focusing on it as it traveled in its circle around the attic. To this day, I find it difficult to look at toy trains.
For as long as I could remember, my father had been doing things to me that I didn't like. I didn't like how often he would take me away from my mom, siblings and friends to be alone with him. I didn't like it when he would stick his thumb in my mouth. I didn't like it when I had to get in bed with him under the sheets when he was in his underwear. I didn't like it when he would place his head in my naked lap and breathe in and breathe out. I would hide under beds or lock myself in the bathroom to avoid these encounters, but he always found me. These things happened so often, so routinely, so skillfully hidden from a mother that would have protected me had she known, that I thought it was normal. I thought this was how fathers doted on their daughters. But what he did to me in the attic felt different. I couldn't keep the secret anymore.
When I asked my mother if her dad did to her what Woody Allen did to me, I honestly did not know the answer. I also didn't know the firestorm it would trigger. I didn't know that my father would use his sexual relationship with my sister to cover up the abuse he inflicted on me. I didn't know that he would accuse my mother of planting the abuse in my head and call her a liar for defending me. I didn't know that I would be made to recount my story over and over again, to doctor after doctor, pushed to see if I'd admit I was lying as part of a legal battle I couldn't possibly understand. At one point, my mother sat me down and told me that I wouldn't be in trouble if I was lying – that I could take it all back. I couldn't. It was all true. But sexual abuse claims against the powerful stall more easily. There were experts willing to attack my credibility. There were doctors willing to gaslight an abused child.
After a custody hearing denied my father visitation rights, my mother declined to pursue criminal charges, despite findings of probable cause by the State of Connecticut – due to, in the words of the prosecutor, the fragility of the "child victim." Woody Allen was never convicted of any crime. That he got away with what he did to me haunted me as I grew up. I was stricken with guilt that I had allowed him to be near other little girls. I was terrified of being touched by men. I developed an eating disorder. I began cutting myself. That torment was made worse by Hollywood. All but a precious few (my heroes) turned a blind eye. Most found it easier to accept the ambiguity, to say, "who can say what happened," to pretend that nothing was wrong. Actors praised him at awards shows. Networks put him on TV. Critics put him in magazines. Each time I saw my abuser's face – on a poster, on a t-shirt, on television – I could only hide my panic until I found a place to be alone and fall apart.
Last week, Woody Allen was nominated for his latest Oscar. But this time, I refuse to fall apart. For so long, Woody Allen's acceptance silenced me. It felt like a personal rebuke, like the awards and accolades were a way to tell me to shut up and go away. But the survivors of sexual abuse who have reached out to me – to support me and to share their fears of coming forward, of being called a liar, of being told their memories aren't their memories – have given me a reason to not be silent, if only so others know that they don't have to be silent either.
Today, I consider myself lucky. I am happily married. I have the support of my amazing brothers and sisters. I have a mother who found within herself a well of fortitude that saved us from the chaos a predator brought into our home.
But others are still scared, vulnerable, and struggling for the courage to tell the truth. The message that Hollywood sends matters for them.
What if it had been your child, Cate Blanchett? Louis CK? Alec Baldwin? What if it had been you, Emma Stone? Or you, Scarlett Johansson? You knew me when I was a little girl, Diane Keaton. Have you forgotten me?
Woody Allen is a living testament to the way our society fails the survivors of sexual assault and abuse.
So imagine your seven-year-old daughter being led into an attic by Woody Allen. Imagine she spends a lifetime stricken with nausea at the mention of his name. Imagine a world that celebrates her tormenter.
Are you imagining that? Now, what's your favorite Woody Allen movie?
EFE 02.02.2014 - 08:23hDylan Farrow, hija adoptiva de Woody Allen, relata este domingo en una carta abierta los supuestos abusos sexuales a los que la sometió el cineasta cuando tenía 7 años, hechos que volvieron a saltar a las portadas con motivo del reciente tributo al actor y director en la gala de los Globos de Oro.
La misiva de Farrow, publicada en la edición digital del diario The New York Times, detalla el supuesto acoso al que la sometió el director de "Manhattan" a principios de los años 90.
En especial, se detiene en un episodio ocurrido cuando tenía sólo 7 años.
Según asegura en la carta, Allen la llevó entonces a un altillo de su vivienda y abusó sexualmente de ella, lo que llevó a la entonces niña a denunciar la situación ante su madre, Mia Farrow, que rompió su relación con Allen.
Allen ya negó las acusaciones
El caso salió a la luz en 1993, pero el cineasta siempre negó las acusaciones y los cargos se retiraron, por lo que nunca fue juzgado.
Tras guardar silencio durante años, Dylan Farrow narra ahora en primera persona los hechos, después de que su hermano, Ronan, criticase el tributo rendido al cineasta en los Globos de Oro por los presuntos abusos del director sobre su hija.
Según señala en la carta Farrow, que ahora tiene 28 años, el acoso de Allen la siguió mientras crecía y le llevó a sufrir desórdenes alimentarios y problemas para relacionarse con hombres.
"Cada vez que veía el rostro de mi abusador -en un cartel, en una camiseta, en televisión-, sólo podía esconder mi pánico hasta encontrar un lugar en el que estar sola y derrumbarme", asegura.
Además, la joven critica la actitud de la mayor parte de las estrellas de Hollywood por pasar por alto los supuestos abusos de Allen.
"¿Qué pasaría si hubiera sido tu hija, Cate Blanchett? ¿Louis CK? ¿Alec Baldwin? ¿Y si hubieses sido tú, Emma Stone? ¿O tú, Scarlett Johansson?", pregunta Farrow a algunos artistas que han trabajado con Allen.
Según la joven, "Woody Allen es un testimonio vivo del modo en el que nuestra sociedad falla a los supervivientes de asaltos sexuales y abusos".
0 comentarios:
Publicar un comentario